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my cheating heart and messed up mind.

So I just came back from my last.ever. SEASAC swimming in Singapore. My head is a mess.

The fact that it’s my last is already a big deal, and I’m surprised I didn’t cry….at least not because it’s my last. And what with the Dec thing… which I actually cried over. 

Last night my head was in a turmoil. I didn’t talk to Schwin at all, but I did, talk to Dec. It seems to be something more than just a SEASAC crush…at least right now. Maybe the haze will wear off in a few days. 

This morning wasn’t that great either. I have way too many trips to go on and it bothers my best friend. I do feel guilty that she covers up our group work for me whenever I’m absent and go on trips. She was mad this morning, but hopefully we’re fine now. I promised to help. And I will. 

I have Spanish IOC right after school today, and I’m hoping that’ll just pass. 

I still can’t get my mind off Dec, but I’m going to try to settle things tonight. I really have no clue what’s going on in his head and I’m worried. I don’t want to hurt another soul, break another heart, and ruin his first for him. My cheating heart and messed up mind alone is enough. 

 

Good bye, cruel world. 

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